Pearls & Pumas Weekly Anchor

Got Peace? Making Sense of Setting Boundaries

Hey Reader,

I don't know about you, but the term "setting boundaries" has always seemed a bit intense to me. Yes, even when my pastor or a Christian author used the word "healthy" when discussing it. I mean, what does that actually look like?

As a mom, the kids have needs that must be met, right? As a wife, my husband has needs too. As an employee, tasks have to get done, and clients have expectations. Then there’s community—friends, neighbors, and extended family in need. Wouldn’t this just fall into the realm of: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"? (Philippians 4:13)

Seriously, it’s never been a topic I could relate to. Until now.

Have you ever heard the concept that when you ask the Lord for wisdom for the day, He’ll most likely supply you with the tools (a.k.a. scripture) to prepare you for something you’ll face later that day?

Yeah.

Well, I found out just how true that is a few days ago… in a not-so-pleasant way. And when I say "not-so-pleasant," I mean—based on what was about to happen—I was wondering why God didn't send angels to blow their trumpets, crack open the heavens, or maybe send Gabriel to sit me down for a heart-to-heart. Why? Because the theme of my devotion that morning was on boundaries—and honey, that truth was nowhere in sight by the time 8:00 p.m. rolled around.

The enemy knew just how exhausted and emotional I was by that point. And the result? I missed the opportunity to apply the exact tools God had tried to prepare me with for the circumstance ahead.

If you're wondering what happened—well, I allowed the emotional turmoil and decisions of one family member to influence my emotions, my sense of peace, and my self-control. Even worse, I apparently thought I had earned the title of “Jesus” for a moment—like I could control the situation and the person involved.

But y’know… since I’m not Jesus, and clearly, the Holy Spirit left the building (because why would the Holy Spirit feel welcomed when I lost my Jesus??)—the mess that was already present only spiraled further.

For the first time, I realized that without setting boundaries—for myself and others—it is nearly impossible to live in peace.

People will take from you what they can if you allow them. Circumstances, especially those out of our control, will drain us to the core—if we let them.

I learned that day that setting boundaries is not about being selfish. It’s not about neglect or letting others down. It’s about allowing ourselves grace to recognize when someone else’s actions—or the chaos of the moment—are about to steal our peace.

And that’s worth guarding.

Friend, if you're anything like me: the person who struggles with the concept of setting boundaries with others to protect your peace—I encourage you to take note of the following scripture. Write it on a Post-it Note, tape it to your mirror, hide it in your journal…

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Rooting for you. Praying for you. Praying His peace that surpasses all understanding will cover you, today and always, as you start your journey to recognize the strength that comes with setting healthy boundaries.

Let’s Pray:
Lord, thank You for Your Word that equips and prepares me—even when I don’t realize I’ll need it later. Help me to honor the peace You’ve given me by guarding my heart with wisdom. Teach me to recognize when I’m stepping into roles that only You were meant to fill. Help me set boundaries that reflect Your love, not just for others—but also for myself. May I be led by Your Spirit and not by my emotions.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

In Love and Christ,

Dorene Elizabeth